Nigel's response to a chain email

blinman.com
There is a home for people who believe that propagating chain e-mails will somehow alter the infinitely complex machinations of fate. This home is 6' X 2' X 1' and made of wood. There is enough sadness in the world without people replicating this kind of cliched pseudo-philosophical drivel. No more need I wonder what happens to slogans deemed to saccharine for charity greetings cards. This stuff has the intellectual content of a cola ad. This e-mail made me want to torture small animals.

Screw your friendly intentions. Ethics is based on results. Circulating this crap is just plain evil. Sam, please forward a photo so I can have a voodoo doll made up. Chris, don't bother - I'll just use a potato.

National friendship week Nigel's comments in blue
Happy National Friendship Week. When will people learn never, NEVER to give the greetings card industry an opening?

Many people will walk in and out of your life. Only start to worry if you're one of them.
But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. 
To handle yourself, use your head;
To handle others, use your heart.
to handle your dog, shout;
to handle pick 'n' mix, use tongs.

Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If you evaluate the similarity of concepts by comparing their spelling in a language that you happen to speak, you can be detained indefinitely against your will under section 14a of the mental health act.
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault for not taking adequate retaliatory measures the first time.

Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
Tiny minds discuss "Big Brother".

He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.
He, who loses his car keys, loses his mind.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature. Or sometimes just accidents of over-stressed latex.

Learn from the mistakes of others. Failing that, just laugh until you cough up a lung.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself, so just concentrate on the ones you enjoy most.

Friends, you and me ....
You brought another friend ...
And then there were 3 ....
We started our group ....
Our circle of friends ....
There is no beginning or end ....
Any chance you could send me the video?

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is mystery. Tomorrow is the same history with a different cast.
Today is a gift.

It's National Friendship Week.
Show your friends how much you care ....
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
If it comes back to you, then you'll know you
have a circle of friends. Or that at least 10% of your social circle followed the instruction below. And they dislike you. Or they're as deranged as you are. Either way I'd emigrate and change your identity. 

WHEN YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER, YOU'RE REQUESTED TO SEND IT TO AT LEAST 10 PEOPLE, INCLUDING THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU. THIS WILL IMMEDIATELY LOSE YOU 10 FRIENDS, WHICH MAKES 10 LESS DIMWITS TO SEND YOU THIS KIND OF TRITE DRIVEL IN FUTURE. IF THIS DOESN'T WORK, SUGGEST YOU TRY THREATS OF REPRISALS.

Its not just chain emails that get Nigel going. Blinman.com